Let’s Meet the Meowers of Death

A lot of you are probably thinking, for a site called When Cats Attack, there is a distinct lack of cats around here, neither of the attack variety or otherwise.

And you are correct. Time has gotten away from me and I have not given their introduction the attention it deserves. I had hoped to start a Feline Friday segment with the first one being this introduction, but unfortunately a rant got in the way.

The Meowers of Death began their reign with Felix about 15 1/2 years ago. I grew up around dogs, but I’d wanted a cat for years and that ramped up big time in college. I got my wish with a tiny bundle of tuxedo cat that I named Felix.

From Felix to now, a number of other minions have come (and gone) to join in on the quest to enslave humans (or at least annoy the crap out of me whenever they can). As it stands, and hopefully for many years to come, I have 11 cats.

*Wait, 11? If you have questions or concerns, I now refer you to the disclaimer and FAQs at the bottom of this post.

All set? Then let’s get to the introductions. I ordered them by the date they arrived. Only a few were mostly/full grown (Quixote, Sidonia, Kal-el, Oreo)…the rest came in as kittens. All are still playful for their ages and in reasonably good health (with a few minor issues for the oldest 2).

Felix, 16 years old this December. Catnip junkie. Will still occasionally play “chase the kitty” with me after all these year. I don’t like to admit to favorites, but he was my first cat ever. Only cat I know who loves lengthy tummy rubs and will ask for them. Also loves head smooches. Bagheera absolutely adores him, but he mostly just tolerates it.

Tiger, 15 1/2 years old. Hung out with Felix when they were kittens, now they’re OK being near each other but that was about it. Loves drinking out of the sink faucet. Crotchety all his life but really dislikes the cats that joined us already full-grown (Oreo and Kal). Loves to chew the string in half on wand toys so the gets the toy all to himself.

Quixote, 11-ish. Loves to snuggle but only or so long. You may not pet him down past the middle of his back…he gets pretty ill if you try (think he has a fused vertebrae at the base of his tail). Gets bursts of energy where he decides to aggravate Tiger for some inexplicable reason.

Winry, 11. She hates everyone except her human momma and just a dislike for the human dad. She doesn’t like being held or picked up, and you must be sitting and the planets in alignment before she’ll allow you to pet her.

Scamper, 9 1/2. She loves Cat TV, dislikes most of the other cats and growls at thunder. Wants pets and attention, usually when she’s out of crunchies. Is the only cat who tolerates the cat stroller and the outdoor harness.

Bagheera, 9 1/2. Our #1 heavyweight in his class cat but also our biggest scaredy-cat. Very tall and muscular cat as well. Loves Felix, food (obviously), and will hiss if you look at him the wrong way, almost 10 years after he was rescued as a kitten and spoiled rotten since.

Sidonia, 10. Quietest, sweetest, smallest cat in the house. We’re convinced her head is full of marshmallow fluff. Hunts little puffy balls, loves the laser toy, and can cop an attitude with the bigger cats in a heartbeat.

Maggie (Magellan), 9 1/2. King a**hole of this house. What he lacks for in his stubby tail he more than makes up for with attitude. He demands to be held in his sling like a baby, none of the other cats like him much nor he them. Dreams of being an only cat.

Kal-el, 10 1/2. #2 heavyweight and scaredy-cat. When he meows, he sounds like what I would imagine a pterodactyl sounded like. Again, loves food, loves Cat TV, and is pretty klutzy with his 2/3 tail.

Oreo, 13 (?). Probably the hardest transition I had. Stayed in the back half of the house the first 2 years he was here. Now he fights for the primo spot to cuddle on the couch or bed. Very playful, Tiger’s mortal enemy, and Bagheera can torment the daylights out of him some days. Maggie will love on him when they are fighting for bed space, but only because he knows I will kick him off if he acts like a jerk.

Reepicheep, 7 1/2. He’s the terror that meows in the night. Still looks kitten sized but is a decent 12 pounds. Aggravates every other cat, us, a piece of paper on the floor…he never slows down if he can help it. I have to stop playing with him before he will. Loves Cat TV, just about any toy you put in front of him, and drinking from the tub faucet.

*FAQs and those with concerns – this is recommended reading for you.

• Yes, 11.
• Yes, they are all current on vaccinations, spayed/neutered, pampered and frequently visit their vet whether they want to or not.
• Yes, we are financially able to care for all of them. They are spoiled rotten and eat better food than I do sometimes.
• No, I do not need to see a therapist for this. I already see one, and trust me, we have talked about this extensively. She is not concerned. I trust her judgment above people on the internet.
• Yes, they are all indoors. I have a 2500+ square foot house and no kids (nor any plans to have kids). And we have a huge screened in porch. They have plenty of room.
• No, my house does not resemble something from Animal Hoarders. I’ve seen worse houses with people who have only a few kids.
• No, I cannot tell you what to do if your cat is sick and you want to avoid the vet. Take your pet to the vet. 
• No, there are no vacancies. No, I cannot foster. No, I cannot find a home for your cat. I will gladly redirect you to people who can, but I personally cannot help.
• Many, MANY cat toys.
• They range in age from almost 16 years (Felix) to 7 years (Reepicheep).
• I am on a first-name basis with most of the staff at my vet’s office. They are pretty much a second family to me.
• 4 have come and gone over the years – Betsy, Pepper, Izumi, and Miya. I will have their own pages in the future.
• I spent too many years being insecure about who I am, and I refuse to do so from here on out. These cats have been there for me longer than anyone except my family, so while you are welcome to form your own opinion/judgment concerning how I choose to live my life, then don’t let the door hit your behind on the way out, mmm’kay?
• No, this is not me:


I’d get way too hot wearing that coat all the time. Plus, I hate pink.